I've Got a Little List

TTTO: 'I've Got a Little List', Gilbert and Sullivan

As every now and then my patience happens to be tried
I've got a little list, I've got a little list
I can open with a stroke, and simply drop a name inside
And it ceases to exist, it ceases to exist

There's the petty little pedants who correct my every slip
The dolts who talk of netiquette - I've had it with their lip
The self-appointed topic cops, and those who pay 'em heed
The person who asks sweetly if there's *anyone* I read
And people who make snide remarks about the posts I've missed
They oughtn't to exist - they oughtn't to exist

He'll add them to the list (he'll add them to the list)
And they simply won't exist, they simply won't exist

Then the people who complain that public plonking is a crime
They must be round the twist - I'll add them to the list
The irritating prats who say that flames should be in rhyme
They oughtn't to exist, they oughtn't to exist
And the sad, pathetic followers of long-outdated rules
The people who quote Godwin and a bunch of other fools
All the simple-minded morons who should not be on the net
The ones who tick me off, then wonder *why* I get upset
And the jerks who know they bother me, but nonetheless persist
They oughtn't to exist - they just should not exist

He'll put 'em on the list - he'll put 'em on the list
And they'll none of them exist - they simply won't exist.

Note: Godwin: see the Jargon File entry
'Flames should be in rhyme' is a rec.music.filk custom

Copyright © Martin DeMello , Feb 19, 2001